Why so angry?
Sometimes, after you have taken pictures all day, you just want to delete them all. And then run the SD card through a shredder, just to make sure they’re really gone. That’s how angry they made you. Because you realize that your photography is mediocre at best, and the neighbour’s kid across the street probably has more good shots with his crappy cell phone than you with your high end camera.
You estimate that with the money you invested in photographic equipment you are unable to use properly, your child could go to university until he’s 47. You could drive the car you always wanted, instead of the beater you own. Wouldn’t it be nice to sleep in on weekends, instead of hunting yet another sunrise you will undoubtedly botch. You’d be in all of your family photos, instead of always behind the camera.
Some people pick vacation spots because they’re fun or relaxing, not just because they are photogenic. Normal people never have to worry about dust on a sensor, humidity seeping into the camera, batteries that aren’t charged, and an obsolete computer that can’t handle RAW files…
If you only stopped hunting after yet another million dollar shot that never comes, you could finally enjoy life.
So you convince yourself that it’s time to call it quits, to admit that you’re better off with different hobby. Angry, disillusioned, frustrated, you grab your camera to put it in storage, but the moment you hold her in your hand, you realize that you just can’t let her go. You suddenly remember the good moments. The fun you’ve had. The satisfaction it brought you. The joy and fulfillment only photography can bring. Only a great shots made it all worth it.
Photography. It was love at first sight, and you’ll always be hooked. Love hurts. But in a good way. Sunrises be damned.
Originally published at https://karinnelson.substack.com on February 7, 2022.